Wednesday, August 3, 2011


While this is my second city, I feel as if it is my first.  The Unknown.  I remember how I love it, how I loved it when I moved to Portland.  Of course, it is easy to love San Francisco.  Even riding my heavy ass rental bike up the steepest hill in creation last night, I was pretty freakin' happy.  Today, my hip flexors hurt, but I am happy.

Even more, I am happy to be alone.  I am taking the opportunity to be introspective.  Of course, it is easier to love myself completely when there is no one around calling me on my shit, but that is why I stay in almost constant contact with my bff and others like her.  I still need that mirror.

I met a man last night who desperately wants to move back to Oregon.  He was in Portland dress code fleece and beard.  He was very nice, very laid back.  He reminded me why it is so hard to date straight men in Portland.  We were at a Green Drinks event.  It felt more like a party.  Flawlessly dressed men and women, all very attractive, all screaming at each other over the overly loud dance music.  I got my free beer, met roughly ten people, and left.  My long and arduous ride home was a welcome release from the tension of the closeness of the people and the noise and the pressure of attempting to reach outward in such an environment.  I was so happy to finally rest last night.  I woke up hoarse.

As I move through this crowded, noisy landscape, I see myself through a different prism.  I am not who I was in the context of Portland, my environment has changed me and I am trying to figure out who I will be.  I hope I do this before I leave in twenty-three and a half days.  I am sure to be a different person in Phoenix.  Not to mention Austin.

As for now, I like the weather here.  It is nice and cool, breezy and fragrant.  Though sometimes the fragrance is fetid, it is not uninteresting.

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