I am just going to say this to get it out of the way: John, the man I was to meet at HUB one dramatically beautiful spring evening, is from Minnesota. MINNESOTA. Do you believe me now? There is something incredibly strange going on here, and I guess I am going to have to be the dumb ass to say it: if "Minnesota" turns out to be some type of code word that aliens are using to let each other know that the assimilation is underway, please do not say that you were not warned. In fact, I am beginning to wonder if I am not in some way a pawn being used in a grand diabolical scheme to fill the city of Portland with creatures from another universe. It could happen. Stranger things have in this town. Anyone who has ever lived here knows that.
Initially, John was a bit worried that his love of biking is "trite" by Portland standards. As a bike commuter myself and a person who appreciates the freedom life on a bike can provide, I begged him to reconsider meeting me, especially after he sent me this email: